Even more than I want people to understand that sexuality is not a choice you make, and God knows how much I want this, I want it to not matter even if it were a choice.
Sometimes when I'm trying to fight for LGBT rights and my best defense is that sexuality is due to genetics and not a conscious choice that someone is making, it makes me sad. It almost feels like I'm saying we should take pity on those who were born with this defect and since it was out of their control, we shouldn't fault them for it. Almost as if I was comparing sexuality to a disability. It just doesn't sit right.
I want sexuality to be accepted, no matter the orientation. Sexual orientation, no matter what it is, should not be seen as a disability or anything that makes anyone less than anyone else. It's not a disadvantage and it's not a defect. So why should it matter whether it's genetic or a choice? Even if someone chooses to be a homosexual, why is that a bad thing?
The more we rely on the "biological" argument for gaining acceptance for the LGBT community, we are obscuring the real issue. LGBT rights shouldn't be granted because people of the community didn't have a choice. It's not a disability that we need to compensate for. The real issue that we should be tackling is the fact that being homosexual is still seen a problem and an unfavorable option in some societies.
What we should be doing is showing that homosexuality is really not that different from heterosexuality beyond the mechanics. What we should be aiming for is equality. Not reluctant acceptance.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Monday, October 10, 2011
Growing up means getting clever.
When I was young I asked for toys for my birthday. I usually got clothing instead. When I was disappointed, my parents would say to me, "Is that Barbie going to keep you warm?"
When I got older, I asked for electronics for my birthday. Things like ipods, cellphones, and laptops. Again, I usually got clothing instead. When I was disappointed, my parents would say to me, "Is that Blackberry going to keep you warm?"
I noticed a pattern.
For my birthday this year, my parents offered to buy me a MacBook Pro. But when I asked for an Alexander McQueen scarf instead, I could tell my father was disappointed in my choice for the materialistic option as opposed to the practical option. When he asked for an explanation, I replied, "Is the MacBook Pro going to keep me warm?"
Can you really blame me for learning my lesson?
When I got older, I asked for electronics for my birthday. Things like ipods, cellphones, and laptops. Again, I usually got clothing instead. When I was disappointed, my parents would say to me, "Is that Blackberry going to keep you warm?"
I noticed a pattern.
For my birthday this year, my parents offered to buy me a MacBook Pro. But when I asked for an Alexander McQueen scarf instead, I could tell my father was disappointed in my choice for the materialistic option as opposed to the practical option. When he asked for an explanation, I replied, "Is the MacBook Pro going to keep me warm?"
Can you really blame me for learning my lesson?
Sunday, October 2, 2011
fire away, fire away - ricochet, you take your aim.
I want to be a good writer so badly. And when I say this, I mean I want to be a good writer qua writing. Beyond just good sentence structure, I want to be concise, I want to write with clarity and poise. The thing is, I also value the poeticism of rarely spoken words. I want my words to have a lyricism that I never have to point out and for them to resonate, to appear bolded or italicized without me ever having to actually click those buttons.
I want to be able to speak like I write and have friends who will think it's completely ordinary. I want to stop feeling like I'm an endangered species - a dying breed.
I want to be able to speak like I write and have friends who will think it's completely ordinary. I want to stop feeling like I'm an endangered species - a dying breed.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Being Smart Is Out of Season and The Travesty That Ensues
The popular top 40 radio station in Toronto right now is running a commercial for a telephone company that begins with a mother telling the listener that her child isn't the smartest kid in the class, but instead he's "popular" and racks up a hefty cellphone bill. I didn't find out that the ad was for a cellphone company until the second time I heard it because when I heard it the first time, I burst into a long tirade of criticism after hearing the first few lines. Why can't her son be both? Why can't her son simultaneously be popular and the smartest kid in the class? Western media propagates the false notion that being smart and being sociable or well-liked are mutually exclusive, but why is that? Why is it unfashionable to be smart?
The other day I corrected my brother's pronunciation of the French word "croissant". I always pronounce it as I have been taught to in French class since the age of ten, the same French classes that my brother attended three years after me. He makes a disgusted face and replies, "Who says it like that? It sounds so pretentious." What is simply correct has suddenly become pretentious and there is now a negative connotation to being knowledgeable. My brother's attitude reflects those of so many of our peers who would rather blend in with the masses, despite knowing that the masses are wrong, than be correct. Somewhere along the road it became more socially acceptable to err because everyone else is, rather than be correct and stand above the masses. Popularity for all the right reasons now makes you popular in all the wrong ways.
The media, and perhaps even our personal lives, can produce several examples of those who are unerringly smart and also gratingly annoying because of it. We label these people as pompous, pretentious and arrogant - all adjectives with glaringly negative connotations. And in several cases the examples we produce may exhibit these traits in every way, but somehow these traits have started to become attached to those who are also just simply intelligent. It may very well be true that those who grow up receiving several accolades for their academic achievements develop proud personalities that make them intolerant of their less eloquent peers and intolerable in return. A segregated few may have been the start of a dangerous stereotype infiltrating legions of teenagers to come.
Turn on your television and you will find numerous teen dramas illustrating dumb blonde cheerleaders who run the social ladder and nerds who can write a million A+ papers before they can score a date. Even though several of these shows are actually telling stories of teenagers breaking these social barriers, it's damaging to future generations to even have these stereotypes articulated at all. Illustrating this social ladder for teenagers influences them in subtle ways. They might not go as far as imitating these characters, but they look for these characters around them. And when they're all doing that they all start categorizing; they all start judging.
Judgment is the root of the problem. The jocks who put more time into football practice after school than studying in the library are automatically assumed by the peers to be less smart than those who do the opposite. When in reality, those jocks could be spending less time studying because they have an easier time grasping the material and don't need to be while those who are cramming in the library really do. But because they possess easy markers of those stereotypes, the jocks are now labeled. Their peers aren't expecting them to be smart, they don't ask for more of them intellectually. Instead, they might be approached more often socially because they are interpreted as more likely to climb the social ladder and be popular. They are invited to more parties, perhaps find it harder to say no, spend even less time studying than they did before, let their grades drop and thus emanate the stereotype even more so. And when their grades drop it really doesn't matter too much, they have a network of friends and a buzzing social life with their equally struggling peers to compensate and thus the cycle continues. Pygmalion effect, anyone?
These stereotypes are damaging in ways that we can't even fully comprehend yet as it is a currently dominating trend. Teenagers, not unlike my own brother, are becoming afraid to be smart. Afraid to say what they know is correct because of that fear of being labeled and judged by their peers as "pretentious". It's an extremely unfortunate situation in that standing out in academics has become one of the few ways in which people don't want to stand out. The majority of teenagers think that they are special snowflakes with feelings and thoughts that no one else has stumbled upon, when in reality they all think in a hive mind. They shy away from actually thinking outside the box and discovering things scientifically and experimentally in ways that perhaps really no one else has ever done before. It's a very sad state of affairs.
No one should be scared of being knowledgeable or being right and correcting your peers. If you do it with humility and the intention to aid, it will come across. Intelligence comes with great power, not only academically, but socially as well. With intelligence comes the ability to network in larger circles, speak with greater confidence on several more topics and best of all the foresight to see and think beyond the stereotypes. The media needs to start promoting characters who are both smart and beloved, elevated for things beyond the stereotypical markers. Start writing characters who are intelligent and well-liked. Write about jocks who read Dostoyevsky in their spare time. Write about the prom queen who's on the chess team and takes a teammate as her date. But most importantly, write it as the norm.
Don't fear being smart. It doesn't have to be or mean anything more than simply being smart. Crave knowledge, desire improvement and aim to be better. We all strive for success and we all want to excel. There's no reason to be ashamed of the way you choose to fulfill your calling to the human condition.
The other day I corrected my brother's pronunciation of the French word "croissant". I always pronounce it as I have been taught to in French class since the age of ten, the same French classes that my brother attended three years after me. He makes a disgusted face and replies, "Who says it like that? It sounds so pretentious." What is simply correct has suddenly become pretentious and there is now a negative connotation to being knowledgeable. My brother's attitude reflects those of so many of our peers who would rather blend in with the masses, despite knowing that the masses are wrong, than be correct. Somewhere along the road it became more socially acceptable to err because everyone else is, rather than be correct and stand above the masses. Popularity for all the right reasons now makes you popular in all the wrong ways.
The media, and perhaps even our personal lives, can produce several examples of those who are unerringly smart and also gratingly annoying because of it. We label these people as pompous, pretentious and arrogant - all adjectives with glaringly negative connotations. And in several cases the examples we produce may exhibit these traits in every way, but somehow these traits have started to become attached to those who are also just simply intelligent. It may very well be true that those who grow up receiving several accolades for their academic achievements develop proud personalities that make them intolerant of their less eloquent peers and intolerable in return. A segregated few may have been the start of a dangerous stereotype infiltrating legions of teenagers to come.
Turn on your television and you will find numerous teen dramas illustrating dumb blonde cheerleaders who run the social ladder and nerds who can write a million A+ papers before they can score a date. Even though several of these shows are actually telling stories of teenagers breaking these social barriers, it's damaging to future generations to even have these stereotypes articulated at all. Illustrating this social ladder for teenagers influences them in subtle ways. They might not go as far as imitating these characters, but they look for these characters around them. And when they're all doing that they all start categorizing; they all start judging.
Judgment is the root of the problem. The jocks who put more time into football practice after school than studying in the library are automatically assumed by the peers to be less smart than those who do the opposite. When in reality, those jocks could be spending less time studying because they have an easier time grasping the material and don't need to be while those who are cramming in the library really do. But because they possess easy markers of those stereotypes, the jocks are now labeled. Their peers aren't expecting them to be smart, they don't ask for more of them intellectually. Instead, they might be approached more often socially because they are interpreted as more likely to climb the social ladder and be popular. They are invited to more parties, perhaps find it harder to say no, spend even less time studying than they did before, let their grades drop and thus emanate the stereotype even more so. And when their grades drop it really doesn't matter too much, they have a network of friends and a buzzing social life with their equally struggling peers to compensate and thus the cycle continues. Pygmalion effect, anyone?
These stereotypes are damaging in ways that we can't even fully comprehend yet as it is a currently dominating trend. Teenagers, not unlike my own brother, are becoming afraid to be smart. Afraid to say what they know is correct because of that fear of being labeled and judged by their peers as "pretentious". It's an extremely unfortunate situation in that standing out in academics has become one of the few ways in which people don't want to stand out. The majority of teenagers think that they are special snowflakes with feelings and thoughts that no one else has stumbled upon, when in reality they all think in a hive mind. They shy away from actually thinking outside the box and discovering things scientifically and experimentally in ways that perhaps really no one else has ever done before. It's a very sad state of affairs.
No one should be scared of being knowledgeable or being right and correcting your peers. If you do it with humility and the intention to aid, it will come across. Intelligence comes with great power, not only academically, but socially as well. With intelligence comes the ability to network in larger circles, speak with greater confidence on several more topics and best of all the foresight to see and think beyond the stereotypes. The media needs to start promoting characters who are both smart and beloved, elevated for things beyond the stereotypical markers. Start writing characters who are intelligent and well-liked. Write about jocks who read Dostoyevsky in their spare time. Write about the prom queen who's on the chess team and takes a teammate as her date. But most importantly, write it as the norm.
Don't fear being smart. It doesn't have to be or mean anything more than simply being smart. Crave knowledge, desire improvement and aim to be better. We all strive for success and we all want to excel. There's no reason to be ashamed of the way you choose to fulfill your calling to the human condition.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
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